Saturday, January 29, 2005

Statutory Sick Pay - Its Enough To Make You Sick

I was off sick for four working days (five days in total).

As a 'casual' member of staff I am entitled to claim Statutory Sick Pay rather than be entitled to standard company sick pay. All very well and good, but under the terms of SSP I was paid £11.03 for my four working days of sickness. Apparently, the first three days of any sickness period are not paid as they are considered to be 'waiting' or qualification days. After seeing that pathetic amount on my pay slip I started to feel quite sick again.

How on earth can that amount of money be fair or just? I already have to suffer the indignity of 'casual' employment and its incumbent lack of employment rights and entitlements and then this? I was genuinely ill and totally incapable of attending work. Eleven pounds is a fucking disgrace. I still have rent to pay, I still have to eat (although I admit, its mainly been Cheerios for the last week), pay Council Tax and everything else. And now I'm going to be skint for the rest of the month through no fault of my own.

Flexible employment market my arse.

Mr Blair, you Sir, are a cunt.

Hula Hoops - The Food of the Gods

I've been back at work for a week now and I'm feeling much better, thank you.

Work itself has been pretty dull and I have had very few opportunities to enjoy satisfying arguments with customers. So today, in an effort to shatter the tedium of a slow Saturday morning, I put the entire contents of a pack of Barbecue Beef flavoured Hula Hoops in my mouth in one go. I nearly choked, but I managed it.

Managing to eat the Hula Hoops without asphyixiating wasn't the problem, rather that as I was doing it, I realised that it would be the highlight of my day. And it was only 10.30 a.m.

Ho hum.

I wonder how many Cheerios I could get in my mouth in one go?

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Finally back to work tomorrow...

After my near-death experience and Thursday's false-start, I'm finally going back to work in the morning.

All I can say is, there better be some fucking crisps left when I get there....

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Sick (but not of Cheerios)

I've been feeling really ill for the last five days with a really nasty cough/cold/viral thing. It included some particularly nasty delirious fever on Saturday night which was truly horrid. It got as bad having hot and cold sweats and weird visuals. Not nice at all.

As a result of this illness, I've only been really eating Cheerios since Sunday. I realise that these are manufactured by Nestle (with all their dodgy third world marketing practices), but man, do they taste good! Not sure of the nutritional value of five bowls a day mind...

Now is the first time I've felt anything near to normal since then so its probably back to work tomorrow. It will be quite nice to get back to the office, particularly since my fantasy football team had another good week, pushing me up the table to 8th position. Wallop!

Now, where are those Cheerios...

Saturday, January 15, 2005


Another holiday, another picture. This one is of me and my old pal and house-mate from University, Andy, in Central Park, New York City (March 2004).

This was the first of four holidays that I will have enjoyed in the last 12 months. The fourth and final trip will be a romantic trip with my new love. Tickets are booked, but the destiniation is still under wraps for security reasons.

Its a surprise, see. Posted by Hello

Euro 2004 - Photo


Me & Ben outside the Estádio Municipal de Aveiro prior to the Euro 2004 match between Czech Republic and Holland.
Posted by Hello

Bangkok - Photo



Me (Lenny) & Ian in our hired trousers at the Grand Palace, Bangkok. Posted by Hello


The boys in Bangkok. Looking along Sukhamvit Road towards the high rise hotels near to our own, Jim's Lodge.

From L-R: Jim, Ian and Me (Lenny). Ben is behind the camera. Posted by Hello

Friday, January 14, 2005

Two posts in two days shock!

Yes, indeed.

After a very shoddy four posts in six months, I've shown my 'bouncebackability' (Iain Dowie. 2004) by posting twice in two days.

In truth, its mainly beacuse the fella that sits opposite me at work (Phil) has just started his own blog http://www.feedthepony.blogspot.com/ and its kinda stimulated me (careful!) to get back to my own blog.

I would say that Phil is a nice bloke but unfortunately, for him at least, he has just called me a 'smart arse'. Consequently, I will leave it up to yesterday's very agitated customer to provide a succinct and perceptive assessment of Phil's character: 'fucking arsehole'.

Can't argue with that really, can you?

Oh, and I'm still madly in love by the way.

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Doggone it, I've done it again!?!!?!?

Yes, I have.

Left it ages without posting anything. And so much has happened. Again .

To summarise the key events:

1) My good friend Ben has moved into our house, which is great for two reasons. Firstly, it means poxy Louise has finally gone and taken her elephant-sounding nose-blowing antics at six o'clock in the bloody morning with her. Hooray.

And secondly, its just nice to have Ben around. He's always good for a chat and a laugh (as is Em, my other house-mate) and his mum is a constant source of discarded household items. Fab.

2) I've been on holiday to Thailand for two weeks with Ben, another friend Ian and Jim (an old University mate of Ben's). A wonderful country with warm and friendly people. I'm so saddened as to what has happened in South East Asia since. Bangkok was superb - a wonderfully vibrant and exciting city, sadly only sullied by the sex industry which openly treats women appallingly.
But overall, a fabulous place to spend a holiday. Links to photos to follow.

3) I had an interview for a job which was pretty much exactly what I wanted to do. It was a very rare opportunity, rarer still that it was local. And I fucked the interview big style. To be fair, the interview was not the formal affair I was expecting and some of the questions they asked related to stuff not included in the job description, which was naughty. But in the main, I perfomed badly in interview and fucked it totally.

Oh Jesus fucking Christ oh god no. What am I going to do now I ask you?

I don't fucking know is the answer to that my friend.

4) I've fallen in love. Completely and totally head-over-heels in love with the most charming, warm, sensitive, intelligent and funny woman I've ever met. She also happens to be drop-dead gorgeous too. I'm in shock. This could be 'it'. We could have an 'it' here. Scary.